Have you had your Fat Boy today?
Why no, I haven't had my Fat Boy today; he died naked on the couch due to the 105 degree heat. Thanks for reminding me!
I was craving ice cream tonight. Sounds good, right? Well, yes, but getting the ice cream involved exposing myself to the blast furnace known as "the outdoors." So after weighing the various options (Should I walk to the store? Or should I just stay here in the cool, cool house? Where is that annoying musical ice cream van when you need it!) I decided to bite the bullet and drive the four blocks to the grocery store. There I was confronted with one of those neon starburst signs on the walk-in freezer: Have you had your Fat Boy today? Again I am reminded that only people with the dirtiest minds are capable of writing headlines that won't offend your grandparents. We know better.
Passing up the Fat Boy, I settled on the Edy's Vanilla Bean. It's good for what it is: a mass-produced conglomeration of sugar and cream, good enough for instant gratification but not the penultimate snack experience. I reserve that title for Zesto's. Despite the fact that they serve ice milk, not ice cream, Zesto's is the best place to satisfy my sugary junk food cravings. It's a small little shack a few blocks from my house, no indoor seating just two windows where you can walk up, plunk down your cash and get a Krunch Kote cone or a strawberry shake that will make you go weak in the knees. Ah, Zesto's.
The seasonal ice cream shop is a dying breed. Zesto's itself was in danger of closing a few years back, but luckily a local family saved this 50’s landmark and our little city can still grow fat on the sugary products they constantly dish up. It's a part of the Midwestern experience: standing in line, waiting and swatting mosquitoes as you slowly move toward the tiny screened window to place your order with a overly-tanned teenager who's just trying to make some cash over the summer break. Dairy Queen is for tourists. Formica tables? Air Conditioning? No sir. The real experience is at the Zestos', the Dairy Barns and the Dairy Shacks that can be found in any small town. Trust me, if you drop me off on Main Street in Anytown, USA, I'll bet you five bucks I can find the ice cream shop there. And there's a 90% chance that the name will start with the word "Dairy". I know from vast experience. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some ice cream to eat. I'll just sweat out the calories tomorrow.
I was craving ice cream tonight. Sounds good, right? Well, yes, but getting the ice cream involved exposing myself to the blast furnace known as "the outdoors." So after weighing the various options (Should I walk to the store? Or should I just stay here in the cool, cool house? Where is that annoying musical ice cream van when you need it!) I decided to bite the bullet and drive the four blocks to the grocery store. There I was confronted with one of those neon starburst signs on the walk-in freezer: Have you had your Fat Boy today? Again I am reminded that only people with the dirtiest minds are capable of writing headlines that won't offend your grandparents. We know better.
Passing up the Fat Boy, I settled on the Edy's Vanilla Bean. It's good for what it is: a mass-produced conglomeration of sugar and cream, good enough for instant gratification but not the penultimate snack experience. I reserve that title for Zesto's. Despite the fact that they serve ice milk, not ice cream, Zesto's is the best place to satisfy my sugary junk food cravings. It's a small little shack a few blocks from my house, no indoor seating just two windows where you can walk up, plunk down your cash and get a Krunch Kote cone or a strawberry shake that will make you go weak in the knees. Ah, Zesto's.
The seasonal ice cream shop is a dying breed. Zesto's itself was in danger of closing a few years back, but luckily a local family saved this 50’s landmark and our little city can still grow fat on the sugary products they constantly dish up. It's a part of the Midwestern experience: standing in line, waiting and swatting mosquitoes as you slowly move toward the tiny screened window to place your order with a overly-tanned teenager who's just trying to make some cash over the summer break. Dairy Queen is for tourists. Formica tables? Air Conditioning? No sir. The real experience is at the Zestos', the Dairy Barns and the Dairy Shacks that can be found in any small town. Trust me, if you drop me off on Main Street in Anytown, USA, I'll bet you five bucks I can find the ice cream shop there. And there's a 90% chance that the name will start with the word "Dairy". I know from vast experience. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some ice cream to eat. I'll just sweat out the calories tomorrow.
posted by kneelw at
7:21 PM
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